Self-Quarantined!!

I want to grow out of this and emerge as a new human being but it’s not really easy, this is gonna take lotta time, also this wouldn’t heed anything if I’m not putting any effort in overcoming this and making it look how I want it or how I painted it in my mind!! and all of a sudden the ever had fear in mind of everyone turned true today and we are all Isolated with self. You know what, this phase didn’t make us isolated we are already Self-Quarantined since ages. This isn’t really new to me. The only fear would be what if I cant dream more? what if I can’t live more?? what if?? This phase just gave us the time to rethink on lot of things we ever did and to stick along and walking off is NO option. In fact I realised I knew it well that I was Quarantined ever since I thought I was socially open, but deep down I knew it. 

• 

What could we do, for the doors guarded,

What could we do, for the hunger and thirsted,

What could we do, for the streets were forbidden us,

What could we do, for the  had imprisioned us,

What could we do, for the town was asleep?

What could we do, for we were defenceless,

What could we do, for night had descended,

• 

What could we do, for we were in love??

I think I’d like to say only that they should learn to be alone and try to spend as much time as possible by themselves. I think one of the faults of young people today is that they try to come together around events that are noisy, almost aggressive at times. This desire to be together in order to not feel alone is an unfortunate symptom. Every person needs to learn, how to spend time with oneself. That doesn’t mean they should be lonely, but that they shouldn’t grow bored with themselves because people who grow bored in their own company seem to me in danger, from a self-esteem point of view.

• 

There are quiet places also in mind. But we build bandstands and factories on them. Deliberately..to put a stop to the quietness. We don’t like the quietness. All the thoughts, all the preoccupations in the head..round and round, continually…what’s it for? what’s it all for? To put an end to the quiet, to break it up and disperse it, to pretend at any cost that it isn’t there. Ah, but it is; it is there, in spite of everything, at the back of everything. Lying awake at night…..not restlessly, but serenely, waiting for sleep….the quiet re-establishment itself, piece by piece; all the broken bits, all the fragments of it we’ve been so busily dispersing all day long. It re-establishes itself, an inward quiet, a growing, expanding crystal. It grows, it becomes more perfect; it is beautiful and terrifying….for one’s alone in the crystal, and there’s no support from the outside, there is nothing external and important, nothing external and  trivial to pull oneself up by or to stand on…There’s nothing to laugh at or nothing to feel enthusiastic about. But the quiet grows and grows. Beautifully and unbearably. And at last you are conscious of something approaching; it’s almost a faint sound of footsteps. Something inexpressibly lovely and wonderful advances through the crystal, nearer, nearer. And, oh, inexpressibly terrifying. For it were to touch you, for it were to seize you and engulf you, you’d die; all the regular, habitual daily part of you would die.There would be an end of bandstands and whizzing factories and one would have to being living arduously in the quiet, arduously in some strange, unheard of manner.

This too shall pass!!

Signing off, your lovingly,

Rashmi Manjunath<3

Your Uniqueness is YOU!

It all started when I was driving back from my home on the other day after a weekend, Yeah I don’t stay with my family even though we both reside in the same city that we all are in love with “ Bengaluru”, so it gets difficult to commute from one place to another for work daily with the hectic traffic, so with no other choice I have to stay apart from my family, and like every other week I visited my parents over weekend and was getting back to my place to start a new week, and I don’t know how many of you can connect with me on this but I think a lot while driving, From how I grew to what all mistakes I did, what could have been better, what went well after all, what flaws do I carry, what is best in me, what I should be pursuing, what should I be doing this week to how should my next 5 years to 50 years looks like, I know it sounds crazy but I do it. Sometimes I also think very weird like what if I could  cast my spell on the world? how would people react if I were a Naagin? do Vampires really exist? or is twilight just a fiction? if not then how did Stephenie Meyer got an idea?  did she get a change to meet any of those?  I also have wished I could undo few people I met and would have never met them at all, I go beyond my thoughts sometimes and try thinking way too much, sometimes my thoughts can go from how loving my parents are to how do I create my own empire in next few years, I know thats huge. Sometimes I want tangible results and sometimes thats too way radical for me kinda vibe.

Above all there is something I believe in very strongly there is always before and after in life I would never wish my before was always better than my after, there comes a point maybe at work, maybe in life where virtue and ethics has to go hand in hand which would be highly impossible, but that’s where YOU are discovered in handling it at most priority. So I always thought I was irrelevant for everything, I always feared my flaws, I always looked up to be the perfectionist in whatever I do, however I looked, because for me more than any moral support that I could have received, I have gone through lot of criticism for everything in the process of making everything  look perfect.

I almost lost myself, I always pushed myself an extra mile so that someone could like me and feel I’m perfect, I would just wear those clothes where I could hide my scars and the other person who meets me should feel I’m just so perfect, I would learn anything and everything to just stand out in the group and be recognised, I almost did these for years and one day I was done with all of it, I realised no matter what I learn, no matter how many scars I carry, I’m still going to be beautiful, I’m still going to be strong, I can still handle everything with or without anybody’s validation. The only evaluation that I ever should look up is all mine. It took me real lot time to accept my own self and to learn it’s okay to be normal and not knowing everything.

It’s not just the standardised and margined validation life that matter, it is also eating golgappas at streets, talking to a strangers, getting into little troubles are also good, falling down is good, sleeping all day is good, putting on little extra weight is good, watching movies alone is good, wearing that old dress that is in your wardrobe since ages if it fits you is  good, and laughing at your own self if that dress doesn’t fits you anymore is also good, its okay to travel alone, its absolutely perfect to take a break from everything and read your favourite book or cook for yourself, or to order anything that you love to hog on without bothering for some extra kilos, its alright to feel scared at night when there is no power and it is also okay to feel low at time. Because it is very easy to lose your own self in making your life a picture perfect one all the while, but it is very difficult to stay still and strong with all the flaws you carry and bringing them into life.

You don’t have to fit in at every place, maybe at this point you might be pushing yourself to fit in, but its okay to not, don’t let peer pressure harm you, take your time in choosing your friends, its okay to become an introvert for sometime to chose your group even after being an extrovert, because darling your time matters, you definitely don’t want to feel awkward around false set of friends that you might chose in a hurry. Don’t try to be a people pleaser, maybe you might think being popular is so cool, don’t try living your life in the opinions of others. You just have to pick up yourself on your own and then you will see you are more capable to stand alone and do lot more than you ever thought. There is no point in putting pressure on your partner to make you feel everything, make you feel worthy, make you feel enough, even when you don’t feel same about yourself in the first place.

It’s not your partner’s deal to make you feel loved, make you feel all of it, It should start from you, within you. You need to know only you are responsible to keep yourself happy and worthy enough. Dress the way you feel comfortable, Putting across your thoughts is no wrong, many would deprecate it but thats not your business to have concern for all the validations that pops up to you, Keep going and live optimal, above all ACCEPT yourself. That’s where YOU evolve!

Appreciate who you are and know what you are uncomfortable with. Learn to say NO if is doesn’t give you a good vibe, also be ready to say YES if you genuinely want it.

You are in charge of your decision and thoughts but before you could make them wisely you have to  accept yourself, hang out with right set of people, those who brings out the best in you and encourage to reach heights. Making peace with things in certain instances are good for our own, it might look or feel odd at that moment but trust me if you feel that is what you need, just let it be.

Signing off, your lovingly,

Rashmi Manjunath ❤

Fighting the Odds!

Aren’t we all fighting the odds at one point or the other? absolutely yes..we all do, a girl struggling to go to school, a women fighting for her own rights to survive in this society, for her equal rights..a girl fighting hard for her life, but the hard rock question that always amuse me is how is right to live and right education is two different things? aren’t they supposed to be one primary thing an individual should get? I do believe it should be either way, it shouldn’t be that difficult for a girl to set her mark to her heights and measure it with the men out and feel less given by the society just because she is a woman! 

Take the step to break the stereotype!

who created gender equality? if am I not speaking about it today who will speak behalf of me? who will? and when? I want all of you to involve in this thought and contemplate, because we are all a part of it. Aren’t we? As we call changes are inevitable, why not take our first step to be a change and mark the league. Let’s be the one to break the stereotype. More often talking about Feminism is leading to hating man and not understanding what exactly we are focusing into. If I would know one thing, it is that this to stop. Feminism By the definition is men and women having equal right and equal opportunities, it is the theory of physical, economic and social equality of the sexes. Why  young girls  fear their favourite sport? why younger boys are unable to express their feelings? I knew I’m a feminist, but it started getting difficult to me because my research on my own shows feminism has become a chaotic word, women are choosing as not to be identified as feminist. Why a word has become such an uncomfortable one? I think it should be right to make my own decision about my own body, I think it is right that women involved on my behalf on deciding any policies and decisions that they make will effect all our lives, I think it is right that socially I’m afforded the same respect as men, but sadly I can say there is no country that women can expect the same right, no country can yet say that they have achieved 100% gender equality.

These right I consider to be human rights, I consider myself to be one of the luckiest one because my parents didn’t love me less because I was born a daughter, these are the inadvertent feminist who are changing the world today, and we need more of them, it is not word that is important its the idea and the ambition behind it, because all women have not received the same right as most of us have received, in fact statistically few have been. Only 30% of the men are active in knowing it and invited in a conversation and with this how can we change anything only when less than half of them are knowing about it. Gender equality is all our issue too. Women political participation has increased by 11% from 1995, that’s way too less for 24 years , this needs to change, we all see younger men suffering from mental illness, unable to ask for help from fear it would make them less of a men or less of a man, I feel men are also fragile and insecure of male success, We don’t often talk about men being imprisioned by  gender stereotypes but they are effected too, and when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence, if men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted, women wont be compelled to be submissive. If men don’t have to control, women wont have to be controlled.Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive both men and women should feel free to be strong, it is this time we all precede gender spectrum instead two set opposing ideals.Both are equal not better not worse than each other they are equal, if we stop finding each other by what we are not, and start finding ourselves by who we are, we can all be free-er and this is what exactly we all are looking forward to, if all men consider this ,their daughter, sister can be free from prejudice, so their sons have permission to be vulnerable. by doing this we are more true versions of ourselves.

Signing off, your lovingly,

Rashmi Manjunath ❤

Am I centre of “The Universe” too???

Hi All, Good Day! Thanks for picking this one to read out today, and also this is very special to me as it’s my first ever Blog, and I can’t believe that I could publish it. I’m grateful to everyone reading this. I just wanted to free myself via my writing and be a part of all your lives, know all your stories and connect to all of you through my words and accompany you all till the end. We all have come across a time and situation like does my existence really matter? Am I any worth? At such time, try to feel good about yourself even when you feel like the least worthy of creatures. Reject all those negative thoughts and let your mind takes the possession of your body and soul, surrender yourself to dance or to silence or to ordinary everyday activities. Everything is worship if your mind is focused on the present moment.

” To love yourself is to understand you don’t need to be perfect to be good!”

Don’t try to convince anyone of anything. When you don’t know something, ask or go away and find out. Open yourself to a greater energy. Believe – simply believe that you can.

At first you’ll be confused and insecure. Then you’ll start to believe that everyone thinks they’re being conned. It’s not true. You have the knowledge, it’s simply a matter of being aware. All the minds on the planet are so easily cast down – they fear illness, invasion, attack, death. Try to restore their lost joy to them.

” The greatest responsibility is to love yourself and to know you are enough”

Be Clear!

Re-programme yourself every minute of each day with thoughts that make you grow. When you’re feeling irritated or confused, try to laugh at yourself. Laugh out loud at your doubts and anxieties, convinced that those are the important thing in the world. Laugh at the shear absurdity of the situation. Most of our problems stem from just that – from following rules.

Concentrate!

If you can find nothing on which to focus your mind, concentrate on your breathing. Listen to your heart beating, follow the thoughts you cant control, control your desire to get up at once and to do something ” useful”. Sit for few minutes each day, doing nothing, getting as much as you can out of that time.

An Arab poet, Khalil Gibran, says: “It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked”. So stop thinking and just give, spread as much as positivity and happiness as you can. Note: Time doesn’t heal anything, YOU heal YOURSELF! You are Important, much much Important!!! Infinity extends from the point you stand in the space which makes you the “centre” of the universe. It just mean you matter.

” You are capable of amazing things”

Ask yourself; Are you happy doing what you’re doing?Are you being useful to your own people? I don’t know whether it is enough or not, but for me its still an illusion. Possibly, but all we will achieve is to repeat what has been done since man was man- keeping things organised. But the World has progressed, we all know history,” Thousand years ago, weren’t we capable of building enormous structures like the pyramids? Weren’t we capable of worshipping Gods, weaving, making fire, sending written messages? Of course we were. But although we’ve succeeded in replacing slaves with waged slaves, all the advances we’ve made have been in the field of science, we are still asking the same question to our ancestors. In short, we haven’t evolved at all”.

There are just two traditions, one that makes us repeat the same thing for centuries at a time, and another that opens door into the unknown. However the second tradition is difficult, uncomfortable and dangerous, and if it attracted too many followers it would end up destroying the society which, following the example of the ants, took so long to build. We are afraid of taking steps that are not on the map, but by taking those steps despite our fears, we have a much more interesting life.

Signing off, your lovingly,

Rashmi Manjunath<3